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well nano started today

Nov. 2nd, 2011 | 02:03 am
location: the apartment
mood: contemplativecontemplative
music: Pendulum - The Island - Pt I (Dawn) | Powered by Last.fm

and i'll be damned, i actually wrote!
I almost didn't. I didn't start till late in the day because I just couldn't find the moxie to, even though I had a good general idea of where, plotwise, to start. But without getting into the gritty details, life has been real fuckin' tough lately and I've spent October going 'well maybe I won't have the strength to write after all'.

but apparently I had/have at least enough strength to get through day one! Which has me wanting to really try and see the month through.

It's late now so I'm just gonna call it a night and leave you with an excerpt. current wordcount: 1783.

staring dry-mouthed at what looked a lot like a real handgunCollapse )

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superheroes in their underwear

Sep. 17th, 2011 | 04:57 pm
location: the apartment
mood: artistic
music: Eric Prydz - Call On Me | Powered by Last.fm

Pretty much what it says on the tin there.
Just doodling, wanted to sketch up a little comparison of the different body types on the Super cast - they're fairly diverse in build. This is very much intentional.

superheroes in their underwear
Sooo Jackson needs a sandwich, Steve is pretty strong for a guy who does all his fighting telekinetically, Ilana is the girl next door, Marisol could kick your ass with her hips, and Rick goes to the gym a lot.

I should do a big Super art post or something, I draw these guys all the time. Rick not as much (on the far right) - this is my first full-body shot of him, actually.
Steve kind of looks like he's checking out Jackson's junk, which I swear to god was not deliberate.

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secret origins!

Sep. 16th, 2011 | 12:08 pm
location: the apartment
mood: contemplativecontemplative
music: The Sounds - Queen of Apology

this is a LONG-ASS RAMBLY POST, in which i am just trying to sort out my thoughts about how the superheroes get together.

oh, right, hi! hello. i'm writing about them again this year, but this time i intend to actually finish, because i am not quite the depressed alcoholic i was last november. This time, we're going back to way before the roadtrip. Where it all started. That's the current plan, anyway.

Read more...Collapse )

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can't believe it.

Nov. 21st, 2010 | 05:38 am

i had it. i totally had it. i was writing. then i fucked everything up all over again, and now it's the 21st and i don't even have 30000 words and i'm actually going to lose. i can't believe it. what the hell is wrong with me?

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there is no self-pity in this entry!

Nov. 15th, 2010 | 07:41 am
location: home
mood: optimisticoptimistic

none!

after that last entry, i basically just forced myself to suck it up, as i have been trying to do all week. but this time it actually happened. by which i mean: i have been up all night and put away close to 7000 words in one sitting. and i'm not sure i'm done yet. i may keep going a while longer. hell, i may keep going till i just plain pass out. WE'LL SEE.

and here is the amazing part:
i wrote an action scene. granted, not much of one. the whole thing does not last very long, and the fight is not particularly complex or exciting. but it is still more action than i generally do, and it is the first time that these guys being superheroes has actually been pivotal to what's going on. up till that scene, they theoretically could have been in any kind of group, doing anything. but now, oh. now they are totally superheroes. they have helped deal with a bad guy and everything. this is very very good for my story.

so in a few intense hours, i have half-closed the gap between where i am and where i should be (give or take a bit). i have taken my boys from scranton to chicago. i have gotten them to play superhero again. and now i am buying them drinks. and also? they are totally bonding. steve is finding himself more and more able to relate to jackson, and slowly losing the tendency to write him off as immature.

i think they're going to end the night passed out in the back of the van together. oh my.

do you know what else i think?
i think this nano is going to be just fine.

and finally, a question: would people be interested in seeing excerpts from this thing? cause i'll post them, if so.

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damage report

Nov. 14th, 2010 | 10:32 pm
location: home
mood: discontentdiscontent

what happened, boiled down to the shortest possible explanation: my unofficial fiancee and girlfriend of almost six years broke up with me. it wasn't mutual, but it also wasn't the result of a fight or anything hostile. it went about as well as something like that ever can, and i harbor pretty much no bad feelings towards her.

but it still hurts. it hurts a lot, and if i was losing momentum to write before, it's completely vanished now. every flaw in my story and my approach to it seems much worse than it did before. i can't find it in me to care about the characters. i feel like the plot is going nowhere. oh, and i'm now something like 14,000 words behind.

i just...i really don't want to say this is where it ended. even if i don't finish, i want to get further than this. i want to be able to say "i hit a really bad bump, but picked myself back up eventually". i just don't know if i can. i keep thinking i'll just join a wordwar chat, or tell someone else i'm going to keep writing to hold myself accountable, but for the first time none of that is working.

so i guess there's no real point to this post. i can't say anything about my novel or whether i'm done writing or any of it. just...getting it off my chest, or something. i know people have been through bigger personal tragedies than this and kept writing, and i always thought nothing could just completely turn my creativity off, but it's different when you're actually going through it.

is there anyone reading this who is significantly behind but is still pushing on?

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--

Nov. 12th, 2010 | 05:01 am

almost immediately after that last post, i lost the last thing that i was really holding onto.

i don't know.

i want to say i can still finish this but fuck, i really don't know.

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an aside

Nov. 11th, 2010 | 07:06 pm
location: home
mood: pensivepensive
music: MGMT - Kids | Powered by Last.fm

perhaps you've been wondering where i went. (probably not.)

without getting into the gory details, i got emotionally steamrollered a little while ago. you can tell exactly when by looking at my wordcount graph; it's the point after which everything stops, is interrupted by one night of a feeble effort, and stops again.

it's been rough, to put it lightly.

at this point, i am thousands of words behind. i feel completely disconnected from my characters, from my story, from the whole experience. hell, i've been pretty disconnected from everything since then, and if i wanted to, i could probably justify dropping out at this point. i am not the first person to go through hard times. people would understand.

but i'd have to live with it. any time i told anyone about nano, any time i posted anything about it, i'd have to say "yeah, i won the first three years, then failed the fourth one". and not "didn't do" or "was too busy for" - but failed, because as far as i'm concerned i committed to this the minute i started writing.

anyone who knows me can tell you i'm not an ego person. if anything, i'm more prone to beating up on myself. it's not that i'd hate other people to know i gave up; it's that i'd know it.


i just checked my "novel stats" page. apparently if i wrote at a constant pace every day, from now till the 30th, i'd have to put away 2,056 words per day to win.

2056 is not that much. for me, it's the standard 1667 plus the results of one 10-15 minute word war.

time to finish this entry, switch tabs, and get to work.


...and if any of you would like to lend words of support/plot suggestions/creativity-boosting tips, that would be just fine by me.

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oh look at this

Nov. 6th, 2010 | 03:58 pm
location: home
mood: determined
music: Kaolin - Partons Vite | Powered by Last.fm

jack's on LJ instead of writing again, ho ho.

HERE'S THE THING: I finally found this year's nano sprints room on AIM, and they're going to launch back into longer sprints at 4 or something. so from now till then, i need to plot and figure out what the hell i'm doing. Jackson and Steve have just made it out into the van and are about to start their awesome cross-country BROad trip.

and i don't know what happens.

so i'm going to make my list here, as a way of holding myself accountable and staying focused. Basically, now that they're out of the house, the story's going to be sort of...episodic. I'm not going to document every second of the trip, but whenever there's a noteworthy scene, that'll get focused in on. so i need to establish what's happening to them, and where, and when.

they're leaving from boston. they're headed for los angeles. and yes, i totally have google maps open, because i have no concept of geography.

so here are things that should happen:

-j&s get recognized. maybe by an old fan? a retired villain? another super? not someone from their own team, if that. i like the thought of a fanboy, though. location: anywhere.

-j&s drop in on marisol. this won't happen till later in the story, though. it'll be significant, since i think they'll either pick her up or stay with her a while. location: new mexico? subject to change, but right now she's mentioned as living in NM, so if i change that i'll have to go back and amend one or two of the lines i've already written.

-j&s find themselves heroing. i need to establish what this means, but i'm thinking maybe they stop a crime in progress? or rescue someone? maybe they're in another hero's town and do a team-up. *something* drags them back into it. location: anywhere.

-j&s get stranded. i'm thinking flat tire or the engine goes, out in the middle of nowhere. fortunately, middle america has lots of nowhere, so this can happen in a lot of places. i envision them stuck out in oklahoma or something, out on the big flat plains, and night is falling and they're just stuck there. murphy's law is being enforced. and then they have to snuggle for body warmth oooh no no STOP IT

-j&s need to have an argument. like, a big one. probably about their reactions to the team ending. this might not happen till the end, but there will have to be some smaller ones on the way. steve needs to be having second thoughts about this trip for almost the whole thing.

-oh! they could get lost! just thought of this! jackson seems like the type to have a shitty sense of direction. or maybe steve does, just for added hilarity, because he is normally so smart and on top of things. that could be amusing.


---

okay, this is good, this has been good. this has at least helped me think a little. my inclination right now is to start off with some conversation, maybe just a little scene of them catching up. they've been driving for a while. i may need to do some math...they left steve's place around mid-day. he lives near boston. they're pretty much heading straight west and a bit south. maybe they stop in some town for dinner and to think about getting a hotel. hey, google! where would you end up if you left boston and drove west for 5-7 hours?

google says: somewhere in pennsylvania. between scranton and altoona, looks like. THIS I CAN WORK WITH. crap, where is my woman when i need her, she lived in PA...

i'll improvise.

yes. yes, i think they'll drive into, uh...scranton. i wonder if the traffic would be bad going in. i need a phone-a-friend! screw it. i'll bluff my way through. i have done this before. so! they're driving towards scranton. they talk. they shoot the breeze. steve gets hungry. they decide to stop for dinner. AND SOMEONE IS LIKE "OMG I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN DUDES".

you know, at first, i didn't want that to happen till later in the story. but i think this could be the setup i've been waiting for. so far, i've only alluded to their "past lives" in the business. this could be a good time for a little exposition. and look at my word count. EXPOSITION WOULD BE JUST PEACHY. plus, it'll give us a tighter insight into how both of them have dealt with "retirement".

okay. OKAY. oh god, oh god. it's 3:54. i swore i would write at 4. and i am facepalming at the length of this entry. IF THIS WAS PART OF MY STORY, MY WORDCOUNT WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER.

last year, i was all about the gratuitous profanity. this year, i am all about the gratuitous capslock. gonna have to make a new tag for that.

but okay. OKAY. in FOUR MINUTES, i am going to WRITE THE HELL OUT OF THIS. and it will start with j/s dialogue, which is bound to be enjoyable. i love writing conversations, so so much. my better half is the action-scenes person. But if you need a couple of dudes chatting over dinner, I am so your man.

TO SCRANTON!

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I AM WRITING

Nov. 6th, 2010 | 06:43 am
location: home
mood: sleepysleepy
music: Dionysos - Coccinelle | Powered by Last.fm

BUT NOT NEARLY ENOUGH OH NOOOO

i am, i don't know, two or three thousand words behind where i should be, because i am so scatterbrained and can't seem to settle in on this thing like i should. i keep finding things to distract myself with.

BUT 
LET'S BE POSITIVE HERE, GUYS. I just hit the 6k mark! Finally! And, and this part amazes me a little, *right* on 6k, the "opening scene" has ended. I think. Assuming I make the rest of this conversation happen off-panel, which I think is what I want. 

My novel! Yes! What was it last time I posted? "superheroes and a roadtrip and THAT'S ALL I KNOW", right? Well, that's still pretty accurate, but it's getting fleshed out. And its title is "Super". So! Brace for excerpts, character babbling, and who knows what else. Next post will have, at the very least, a synopsis or something. When I'm less tired.

For now, have a picture.



The cheeky one who needs a shave is Jackson. The endearingly Jewish one is Steve. TOGETHER, THEY FIGHT CRIME.*

*well, they used to, anyway. Now they're retired. Sort of. Steve is allegedly okay with that. Jackson, not so much.

This is my first finished sketch of these dudes, so they're still a little subject to change. Especially Steve's hair, I can't commit on that. But this is roughly what our star boys look like. Still fleshing out the rest of their team, but this is basically a story about Jackson and Steve, so I've got some time. Oh! But I did finally (tentatively) name someone, and her name is (tentatively) Marisol, and you'll see when we get there.

I really, really want to get myself caught up by the next time I go to bed.

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